How do you tell the difference between Liberals, Conservatives and
Southerners?
Pose the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking liberal with a huge knife
comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities,
raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you
are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before the liberal reaches
you and your family. What do you do?
Liberal's Stupid Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer
the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done
anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away?
What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing
the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the
law say about this situation? Does the Glock have an appropriate
safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what
kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it
possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want
to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab
his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing
me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to
raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier,
healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so
confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and
try to come to a consensus.
Conservative Answer: BANG!
Southerner's Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! click...(sounds of reloading). Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like
he's still moving...What do you kids think?"
Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it, too." BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click. Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were
those the Winchester Silver Tips?"
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